Over and over again, not knowing how to say no can be one of the biggest enemies of your personal productivity. Putting the satisfaction of others above yours is very good, even admirable if you do it deliberately and voluntarily for good reasons. However, it is not terrible when you unconsciously and gradually stop living your life to live that of others. When you are unable to say no enough times, you find yourself in a situation where you have too much to do, but most of it is of little value to you and your life. In extreme cases, this can lead to a feeling of emptiness and a level of stress that is as high as it is unnecessary. But why are we doing this? There are several reasons, and while some of them may seem reasonable and selfless, they are mainly wrong:
- We want to help: we confuse so-called good behavior with other so-called negative. It seems that refusing to do something is rude and selfish, while accepting it is an act of kindness, generosity and empathy.
- Fear of rejection: we want to be loved and not to be excluded.
- Respect for Others: Sometimes we just consider that this person does not deserve a no.
- Fear of confrontation: we want to avoid conflicts and keep a good environment. We don’t want a relationship to suffer as a result of a negative response.
- Feeling guilty: we often don’t feel good after we say no. We blame ourselves and constantly punish ourselves for this decision, even if it was perfectly reasonable.
- Fear of losing opportunities: We feel that by saying no now, they will not offer us other things that we love in the future.
Well, it’s not about saying no to everything, but you shouldn’t be doing something that doesn’t work. It literally hurts you. How can you handle these situations? Think about these things when someone asks you to do something :